Ye Olde Scribe’s VERY, VERY Incredibly Bad Beer Report


(Please refer to #8 for the source of both the following photo and the related story-Prof. GA)

Ever watch “Six Feet Under” when it was on? Someone always dies in the beginning, some ironic some very sad or even funny ways. Scribe LOVES beer. He first started writing ABOUT beer. But just like any alcoholic beverage, to say beer can make be used as an excuse to do stupid things is so much an obvious “duh,” it’s dumber than a Homer Simpson ‘DOH.'” Here are just a few either stupid, or sad, beer and alcohol related deaths Scribe has discovered by visiting Doctor Google. (Hopefully he doesn’t offer certain enemas.) Murder is included. Scribe dares you not to laugh, feel sad or shake your head in wonder. Scribe warns you: some of these are a bit gruesome. If you’d rather NOT, DON’T click.

10 of the Strangest and Stupidest Beer Related Deaths

1. 207 BC: Chrysippus, a Greek stoic philosopher, is believed to have died of laughter after watching his drunk donkey attempt to eat figs. (Source: wiki.)

2. 1478: George Plantagenet, Duke of Clarence, was executed by drowning in a barrel of Malmsey wine at his own request. (Source: Wiki.)

3. 1814: London Beer Flood, 9 people were killed when 323,000 imperial gallons (1 468 000 L) of beer in the Meux and Company Brewery burst out of their vats and gushed into the streets. (Source: Wiki.)

4. 1983: Jimmy Lee Gray, a man executed in Mississippi’s gas chamber, died bashing his head against a metal pole behind the chair that he was strapped into. The poisonous gas had failed to kill him but left him in agony and gasping for eight minutes. It was later determined that the executioner was drunk. (Wiki)

5. 2009: Brewer Mark Moynihan died after the oxygen in the brew vessel he was welding caught fire and burned him all over. (Source: Knoxville.com

6. Alan Eames, famous beer writer who was considered the “Indiana Jones of beer,” died after he STOPPED drinking beer. Death not unusual, but a bit ironic, maybe? (SOURCE)

7. 1883: 14 year old dies after falling into beer vat. There are many stories from that era: many sources. Some of age, but many not. There are many with children in their early teens, however, all stories are short and unspecific: none mention why except… maybe this may be even more of a very sad story than one would assume… pre-child labor laws?

8. There are actually many versions of this story. But this one may be the strangest: this guy isn’t even dead yet. Coffin already made for him, out of beer cans. (SOURCE)

9. Talk about a thirst that could kill… teen murders for beer money. (SOURCE- video/confession)

9. You saw this one coming, right? Murdering someone for spilling a beer? What’s next, milk? Scribe has no doubt that has happened too. Wonder if the perp is any relation to Joe? (SOURCE)

10. Finally, literally holding up the… rear, a reported trend: beer, sherry and other alcohol-based beverage-enemas have been causing deaths over the past few years. According to the source it can make you very drunk but not recommended for ANYONE. (SOURCE)