Brew Biz: Werts and All

Ken Carman is a BJCP judge; homebrewer since 1979, club member at Escambia Bay and Music City Homebrewers, who has been interviewing professional brewers all over the east coast for over 10 years.

The Topic: An Emerald Coast Beer Fest Story

Shortly after the sun sets, the crazies come out. No: not goblins, nor gremlins, not even Godzilla’s second cousin Oilzilla who; some claim, has been feeding on oil spill eating bacteria and haunting the Emerald Coast. No, I’m referring to crazies like me. Barley Wine and Big Beer People. We raid our fridges for any beer 10% and over…

And then Gabriel blows his horn…

Well, his name is actually “Big Bob.” Can’t you see the halo? You can’t? Well take it from us big beer lovers: we who attend Big Bob’s Barley Wine Bash and wait all year for this special event, he is our Saint. Even Brew God Todd looks on in awe.  How are we to know exactly why? We can’t all be… “Hicks.”

(Yes, that was an in-club joke: his name… “Todd Hicks.”)

And I noticed fellow brewer, Mr. Dollar, was as amazed as I. Not surprising, since he was so close by he could have been my next of… Ken.

(Yes, I did an “inie” joke again at your expense, Ken Dollar.)

Then the ugly guy with the blond hair pours one of his beers he brought for all to try. Oops!!! That’s me. We all poured, and sampled, through the night. Gradually we filtered out of the room after 40 or more were poured.

The sun rose the next day…

…a sun rise that looks suspiciously like the same picture as sundown. And in the light of that new day’s sun; due to the regenerative powers of strong barley beverages, we left the fest with our superpowers intact. Feeling better, wiser, stronger and more powerful due to the effect of our Popeye-like beverage of choice; big beer. Able to leap into huge fermentation tanks with a single bound. As powerful as a toy locomotive powered by the contents of empty EKU 28, Bigfoot, Dogfish, Foghorn, Ommegang Adoration, Sweetwater and Thomas Hardy bottles, to mention just a few…

Well that last may be just a tad untrue.

But the rest is pure fact.

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Brew Biz: Werts and All, is a column dedicated to reviewing, discussing and commenting on all things beer including, but not limited to: marketing, homebrewing and homebrew/beer related events, how society perceives all things beer. Also: reviews of beer related businesses, opinions about trends in the beer business, and all the various homebrew, judging and organizations related to beer. Essentially, all things “beer.”


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Ken Carman and Cartenual Productions
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