From the Bottle Collection: Ten Beers to Have Before the Mayans Kill Us All

Without intent, I have collected well over 1,000 beer bottles since the early 70s. When something finally had to be done about the cheap paneling in this old modular, I had a choice. Tear down the walls while, oh, so carefully, replacing the often rotted 1X3s. Or: cover them with… The Bottle Collection.

Written by Ken Carman


Over, or up, there!

Is it a bird?

Is it a million tornadoes, nuclear destruction, or fire, or a flood?

Is it a comet, or an asteroid?

Killer virus?

Or will the Mayans just give us the bird?

Being New Years and all, as you may of heard: and if you haven’t you really need to crawl out from under that Stone Mountain-size pebble you’ve been living under, this is the last year for humanity. The Mayans, who somehow missed Cortez and are now extinct, somehow managed to predict that this is the year we’ll all give up our holy, and less than holy, ghosts: or spirits if you will.

So, let’s par-tay!

But if I had to choose only ten beers before the calendar kacks us all… damn this is so hard… which ones would I choose? There’s so many that have been, oh, so delightful. No insult to those who didn’t make the list but still I love. Hey, I was headed to my apocalypse bunker so I grabbed quick.

So here are my top ten: not in order of best to better, or better to best; which is why I used letters instead of 1-10. They’re all just heavenly quaffs to have before I go to hell, or heaven, or the planet Beetlejuice where the death zombie bureaucrats will occupy my time as I avoid sandworms…

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Beer Profile for the New Year

Profiled by Ken Carman

The Vixen
Samuel Adams

If you have a beer for the New Year this is one I would recommend: chocolate dominates, slightly in the taste. Slight Bock lager sense but very much in the background. Deep malt complexity evident without a lot of very roast-y, or astringent sense, like over use of Black Patent. Munich seems evident in the malt mix but blends well. Very well balanced.

Mouthfeel is full with slight sweet malt sense. Nose is sweet too with some Bock-lager yeast sense. No hops. Some chocolate in the nose too. The sweet is a light, sweet, pepper sense in the background. Hey! Tis a pepper beer too, which is very much in the background and probabky responsible, in part, for sweet. Very smooth; almost soft and cushion-y.

This beer doesn’t have a lot of nose, but it makes up for it with everything else with a deep malt in all of the other parameters: mouthfeel, taste and appearance. Appearance: black as midnight, pours thick with nice tan head, a mix between rock and mostly pillow. A sweet chocolate Bock in a glass, kind of a mix between dark and milk chocolate.

The complexity here is fascinating and I think with take a while to uncover, I shall “suffer” through it… with great joy. I am no lager fan, but this is a damn good beer.