Beer Jokes and Quotes

Vandals near downtown Houston do a grand job, but miss the point. If we were to meet Jesus in paradise, he probably wouldn’t offer any decent beer geek a Bud. That would be Hell.


Submitted by R. S. Janes

(Some quotes had no source or were anonymous.)

“I’ve always believed that paradise will have my favorite beer on tap.”

— Rudyard Wheatley

Champagne costs too much,
Whiskey’s too rough,
Vodka puts big mouths in gear.
This little refrain
Should help explain
Why it’s better to order a beer!

“The mouth of a perfectly happy man is filled with beer.”

— Ancient Egyptian Wisdom, 2200 B.C.

“Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.”

–Henry Lawson

He that buys land buys many stones;
He that buys flesh buys many bones.;
He that buys eggs buys many shells;
But he that buys good beer buys nothing else.

For every wound, a balm.
For every sorrow, cheer.
For every storm, a calm.
For every thirst, a beer.

In Vino Veritas,

In Cervesio Felicitas

(“In wine there is truth, In beer there is joy.“)

Of all my favorite things to do,
the utmost is to have a brew.
My love grows for my foamy friend,
with each thirst-quenching elbow bend.
Beer’s so frothy, smooth and cold —
It’s paradise — pure liquid gold.
Yes, beer means many things to me…
That’s all for now, I gotta pee!

May the beer enlighten our minds
And strengthen our resolution!

“I wish you a Merry Christmas.
and a Happy New year;
a pocketful of money,
and a cellar full of beer.”

— Anonymous

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