Beer Joke Time!: “There’s Always Room…”

Submitted by R.S. Janes

A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a large jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks about 2″ in diameter. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.Visual

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The students laughed as the professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

“Now,” said the professor, “I want you to recognize that this is your life. The rocks are the important things — your family, your partner, your health, your children — things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else. The small stuff.”

There was total silence as the students absorbed the lesson.

“If you put the sand into the jar first, there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal.”

The students started nodding in agreement at the professor’s profound wisdom.

“Take care of the rocks first,” the professor finished — “the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”

But then…

A student then took the jar which the other students and the professor agreed was full, and proceeded to pour in a bottle of beer — and then another! Of course the beer filled the remaining spaces within the jar making the jar truly full.

The moral of this tale is…

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Ye Olde Scribe’s Bad Beer Store

“Because it rhymes with ‘Report,’ Mr. ‘How DARE you steal it from Scribe,’ Colbert?”

Written by Ye Olde Scribe

No stores named in this rant. Not the point. This is a beer-less beating of formerly GOOD beer stores. So let the bashing begin!

Thirsty, Scribe stopped by a store in Spencer, Mass. That may or may not be far from The YOS Anti-Archie Bunker. Scribe NEVER tells anyone where the YOS Anti-Archie Bunker is. Too many of Junior’s henchmen and wench women would LOVE to know.

The store used have a moderate supply of craft beer, and used to be in a strip mall where, sad to report, people no longer strip. Must be a lack of beer, or the guys with the bubble machines prowling the lot. Spoil sports.
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Spotted in Austin: a Beer-powered Streetcar!

Posted by Leslie Brenner at eatsblog.dallasnews.com

A friend and I spotted this crazy bar-on-wheels on the street in downtown Austin recently. It’s powered by ten people pedaling, and while they pedal, they’re drinking beer. There are a few non-pedaling seats, including one for a bartender, who serves beer from their BYOB keg from a central tap.

Pubcrawler of Austin has only been plying the streets (on six approved routes) since early July. The way it works is you get a group of at least ten together and rent it — it’s $160 per hour during the week, and $190 per hour Friday and Saturday. Bring a keg — or boxed wine or canned beer (no bottles, no hard liquor). And everyone has to be 21. Or sign up for a seat on Hump Day — Wednesday — when it’s $35 for a seat, as long as ten people sign up. In that case, you bring your own ice chest.

Mercer’s Meat Stout

Written by Martyn Cornell for Zythophile.wordpress.com

Here’s a top contender for “vanished beers I wish I’d tasted” – Meat Stout. A mixture of serendipity and synchronicity led me to discover Mercer’s Meat Stout this week, a brew I’d never previously heard of. Serendipity (the art of finding something valuable while looking for some other thing entirely) because I was actually searching for pictures of Ena Sharples in the Rovers Return to illustrate a comment I was making at Alan McLeod’s blog about Imperial Milk Stout. Synchronicity (the occurrence in a short space of time of two random but apparently connected events) because I had been reading just a day or so earlier about the attempt by Stuart Howe of Sharp’s Brewery in Cornwall to brew Offal Ale, containing liver, kidney and heart. (Incidentally, Stuart’s “Real Brewing at the Sharp End” is one of the best brewer’s blogs around: sharp, indeed.)

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Miette’s Stout Cupcakes

Written by Jay Brooks for The Brookston Beer Bulletin

Alton Brown, from the Food Network, recently handed down his choices for the Nation’s Top Ten Sweets. Making the list for the “Best Beer-Spiked Cupcake” was the Bay Area’s own Miette. With two locations in San Francisco (the Ferry Building & Hayes Valley) and one in Oakland (at Jack London Square), here’s how Brown describes them:

A former dot-commer started this mini-chain after a successful stint at the Berkeley Farmers’ Market, and her gingerbread cupcake might be the reason for Miette’s popularity. Made with a dark stout beer, it’s super moist and topped with lightly sweetened cream-cheese frosting and a candied orange flower.

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Beermobile

Student Prince, Heidelberg Brewing Co., Covington, Kentucky.

Image courtesy beerhistory.com

Note: The Professor believes this picture may actually have been taken in Cincinnati: over the bride from Covington, a few miles towards Dayton off of I-75, probably before I-75 was built. Now known as the Cincinnati Museum Center.

5 Healthy Reasons To Have a Beer Today

Written by Jenny Evertt for Self Magazine

Feeling the urge to stop by the local watering hole for happy hour tonight? While some opt for wine because it’s the healthier, less-likely-to-make-you-feel-bloated-tomorrow option, the summer heat may have you craving a tall cool beer.

While drinking until you’re smashed is linked to all sorts of badness (including breast cancer), beer in moderation (two drinks or less) actually has some real health benefits. So steer clear of the beer bong and have a couple of pints with a clear conscience—here are five legit ways to justify tonight’s Coronas.

It May Prevent Osteoporosis

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Bill Could Threaten Wineries, Microbreweries

Written by Nannette Miranda for KGO TV

NAPA, CA (KGO) — A bill in Congress right now could threaten direct interstate wine sales and make it especially tough for smaller wineries. But wine and beer wholesalers insist that is not what the bill would do.

While California wineries enjoy the summer crowds, many owners are worried the Comprehensive Alcohol Regulatory Effectiveness Act, a bill in Congress which ensures that states retain control of alcohol laws.

California’s smaller wineries and microbreweries think the proposal opens the door to prohibiting shipments of wine or beer to out-of-state consumers and forces them to use wholesalers if they want their products sold beyond state borders. A wholesaler, though, might not want to represent a business that does not make him a lot of money.

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Space Helps Coloradans Find Free Beer

Submitted by Janet Stevens of The Space Foundation

4th Edition Colorado Beer Map Recognized by Space Foundation for Integrating Space Technologies

The Colorado Springs-based Space Foundation has recognized the updated and revised 4th Edition Beer Drinker’s Guide to Colorado as a certified Space Imagination Product. The map integrates enhanced GPS-enabled measurements into the locations and chart data of fourteener* elevations and incorporates new Shuttle Radar Topography Mission (SRTM) digital elevation model data into the relief map.

The Space Foundation’s Space Certification program promotes the practical, life-enhancing benefits of space technology here on Earth.

Released last month, the 4th Edition Beer Drinker’s Guide to Colorado is a large (27″ x 39″) beautifully printed full-color topo-physical map that “pint-points” the locations of 126 Colorado brewing operations, from bucket brewers to megabrewers spread all across the state. It includes information about beer, including beer styles and tastes, glassware, beer making, lists of historic and notable saloons, bars for beer geeks, homebrewing shops, and detailed facts on every Colorado brewing operation. Colorado travel information includes details on state and national parks, driving distances, local taxi and bus contacts, ski areas, fourteeners, and much more.
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