Mr. and Mrs. Moron Brew Beer
Fugetaboutit 2009
Written by Ken Carman
Usually the first competition is the toughest. Last Spring, in Lexington, KY, they made it look easy. This December the Barley Mob Brewers in Chattanooga made it look easy, simple and smoother than real “mobster” operations: as smooth as some of the beers we judged. I emphasize “some.” Hey, it’s competition, and that’s what it’s all about: finding the delicious gems amongst the problematic or more blase’.
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Fugetaboutit Winners 2009
From the Bottle Collection: New Amsterdam IPA
Without intent, I have collected well over 1,000 beer bottles since the early 70s. When something finally had to be done about the cheap paneling in this old modular, I had a choice. Tear down the walls while, oh, so carefully, replacing the often rotted 1X3s. Or: cover them with… The Bottle Collection.
Written by Ken Carman
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Fixing That Leak in the Roof
What the Professor Might Want for Christmas
The Professor has no idea what someone who likes beer may want for Christmas. He does know what he would want, so he can guess. So here are a few gift suggestions for those who like good beer. Not in any specific order.
1. Beer of the Month clubs may be a good idea, but check out what they have to offer. Unique and odd is best here. Whatever you do don’t call the shipping agent, like UPS for example, and ask, “Where’s that beer I gave Joe for Christmas?” Call the company that offers the service. They probably told the shipping company it’s anything but beer. Also find out delivery times. The longer the delivery time the more likely you should choose some other club. A wide selection is best. A club that only offers beer from a few brewers is probably not wise. This will be hit and miss by the very nature of the gift so a service that offers more brewers; rather than just a few, would be better.
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Beer Tasting: Nashville, TN
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What the Professor Doesn’t Want for Christmas
The Professor can only guess what someone who likes beer may not want. Here are a few beer based gifts that you may want to avoid, with comments. Not in any specific order because only you know who you are giving to, or should know them.
1. BrewMaster: The Craft Beer Game. Not a bad concept, but a poorly executed board game. You win by getting the most trophies and crowd markers. How many trophies you win as a brewer really doesn’t keep a brewpub open and many owners don’t care: it’s often all about the crowds, profit and the owner’s taste; as misguided as that last one may or may not be. The ale yeast card is good only to brew some style called “ale.” “Ale” is really just a matter of what yeast is used for the most part and what temps the brew is fermented/stored at. Stout is an ale. Porter is an ale. But you often can’t use the ale yeast on it. Belgian beers don’t always require two yeasts. For a game that bills itself as educational it might be: for those who wish to belong to some Flat Earth-like beer cult that avoids facts.
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Mr. and Mrs. Moron Brew Beer
Wassail
Did you know there are competitions for making serving vessel wassail bowls? Learn more at Stewart King’s site. The bowls carried by those who went wassailing were no doubt a bit more simple, especially when it was the peasant class.
Lyrics posted here are from various songs sang while wassailing.
Wassail! Wassail! all over the town,
Our toast it is white and our ale it is brown;
Our bowl it is made of the white maple tree;
With the wassailing bowl, we’ll drink to thee.
The song is a bit confusing for some. The “ale” may have been a different drink, not actually the wassail songsters have sung about given to them by homeowners they “wassail-ed.” The recipe for that wassail probably varied quite a bit.
Christmas is coming
The goose is getting fat
Please put a penny in an old man’s hat
If you haven’t got a penny
A hapenny will do
If you haven’t got a hapenny
Then God bless you
Similar to caroling, but some warm wassail was often expected from those who were sung to: often alcoholic. It goes back to at least feudal days when peasants would “wassail” the gentry or nobility. It was permitted because it wasn’t considered begging. The beverage: wassail, was often served to the those who were wassailing. The word, “wassail,” may have been partially derived from the Old Norse ‘Ves heill,” from the Old English salutation “Wes Hal,” meaning “Be In Good Health.”
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